Pottermore

Yeah yeah, I know what you're all gonna say. How can a silly online quiz really tell us anything. Well I'm here to say it can, this is possibly the most important test you will sit your entire life. School exams? Job interviews? That police inquiry over fondling yourself in public. It means nothing in comparison to the task I set out before you today.

Pottermore will grill you on your innermost secrets, sure you think you're answering a question saying you like bowler hats. But what you're really revealing is that on a Wednesday night you put on that feline dion mixtape, some soft pyjamas and take part in some of the most heinous deeds known to man.(Twilight, really?!?)

So if each and everyone of you could sign up, take the necessary evaluation I'm keen to know which house you've been sorted into, which patronus you receive also.

I'm not going to lie, this very well could define all our future engagements, trysts and whether I now take you on as my greatest foe and number one nemesis.

For clarity reasons, I was sorted into Slytherin House (The horror, I'm surely a Gryffindor) My patronus was that most noblest, most tenacious and particularly beautiful of animals. The Black Swan.

I eagerly await your results! If you're a hufflepuff you can go cry in the corner!

I got sorted into Ravenclaw and my patronus is the Brown Hare.

I'm a Ravenclaw with a Siberian Cat patronus, and the Thunderbird in Ilvermorny!

I... have lost my password. Just joking!

Red Squirrel. Get it? Pottermore basically called me nuts

I got Gryffindor. And Ilvermorny I'm... (and by gods I swear I will sign your email account for an enormous amount of spam if you laugh) Pukwudgie. -.-

My sexy wand is an enormous 12 ¼" (I don't really know, I actually work in metric, but I guess they don't make wands in metric) Pearwood with a Unicorn hair core and Slightly Yielding flexibility

And in case you're totally geeky... here's a list of all Patronuses on site!